Sexual press ups
When Mavis was about 4 she had a beloved friend, Peter. The two were inseparable, so much so that when they both went to school, the dinner ladies called them the little married couple. Sadly for Mavis, Peter moved away leaving her distraught. For years afterwards she struggled to make friends, but it seemed that the girl groups […]
Child Quote 12
This came from a friend and it made me laugh. She visited the zoo with her little son and his granddad. When they reached the penguins the tiny boy poked his finger through the fence and said ‘Duck’ ‘No,’ explained Granddad, ‘It’s a penguin.’ ‘Duck […]
Child Quote 11
Mavis: Is an Ooner Spism a Spoonerism? Us: Ha Ha Ha Ha We are very sad in our family!
Child Quote 10
Teacher ‘The colour of the wood louse gives a clue that it lives in a dark habitat.’ Child ‘Or on a pigeon.’
Child Quote 9
Teacher ‘Can anyone give me an example of a traditional tale?’ Pupil (aged 5) ‘Pin the tail on the donkey?’
Child Quote 8
Mavis gets older and the quotes become more risque! Whizz, Mavis and I went for a small outing to a farm park, in the rain, 40 minutes drive away. This was not one of our more successful ideas but at least we were out as a family. Mavis equipped herself with all the necessary gadgets […]
Child story 7
OK so now she’s got a sense of humour there’s no stopping her, especially if there’s something she wants. So there we are, 31st December and Mavis decides that her bedroom is too small for her needs. ‘Daddy?’, she enquires sweetly, ‘Could we knock my bedroom into Horace’s to make it bigger?’ Now strangely enough […]
Child Quote 6
It comes as a surprise when your child develops a skill she has not hitherto demonstrated. You know your child will grow into an adult and that along the way she will do new things but, nonetheless, when they present themselves they still impress. Sadly for Mavis, when it comes to a sense of humour, […]
Grumpy Old Man
It was Mavis’s 9th birthday last week and much to our delight she decided that instead of a party she would like to take a friend to see The Sound Of Music on stage at the London Palladium. Whizz was away in Minnesota so it fell to me to get us there and back taking […]
Child Story 5
My friend was going out leaving her husband to look after the children for the evening. She got herself dressed, did her make up, added perfume and jewellery and swept into the lounge to say goodbye. Wife: How do I look? Husband : Mmm Young Son: Well I think you took beautiful Mummy Wife (feeling […]