Conkers
Conkers, Clonkers, Prickly gonads in frilly leaf underwear, Waiting to drop. Suspended reminders, That these balmy, aimless, dreaming days, Face warmed, Bird song, Will die, Cold. Ah but then, New world, Crisp, Crispy, Icy. Walking, Puffing clouds, Swishing feet, Clonk, Brown, glossy, peeping, Conkers
Child quote one
Boy to male Teaching Assistant, peering at the badge describing his name and position “Does that say Teaching Assassin?”
Child Quote two
Child 1 “I like your top miss” Miss (rather flattered) “Thank you, I like it too, it has pretty flowers doesn’t it?” Child 2 “I like your trousers” Miss (feeling really trendy) “Thank you” Child 3 “I like your shoes Miss” Miss (Now on top of the world) “Wow, thanks, I must be the best […]
Child quote three
Me “What did you do at school today?” Mavis “Can’t arember” Me “Did you do any reading” Mavis “No” Me “How about numbers” Mavis “No” Me “Well you must have done something” Mavis, after a pause “We did shapes” Me “Oh, what kind of shapes” Mavis “A ball shape” Me “Can you remeber what a […]
Child Quotes
I now have a new job. I no longer have a career. My job involves primary school children and is very entertaining. I can’t give any details about my job as it wouldn’t be appropriate however I see no reason why I should not regale you with a few amusing episodes as they crop up.
On Computer Dating
Several years ago, between husbands, I dipped a toe into the world of computer dating. This seemingly unbalanced move was initiated after a rather unsettling experience with a Lonely Heart from the local news paper. Have you ever rung one up, out of curiosity? Most of the men sound really ordinary but this chap sounded […]
Mavis Quote
I think this blog is getting a bit political so here’s a little light relief: Mavis (aged 5) and I were on our way back from a school shoe buying trip to Duckchester. We had just managed to get the shoes before the shops shut and as a result were stuck in heavy traffic. “Oh […]
On Recycling
I had a go at being religious once, not so long ago; but the burden of being middle class with all its attendant feelings of guilt meant that the added responsibility to God made each decision a nightmare: Don’t pass on the other side of the street, even if you might catch fleas and give […]
Orgasm
Just thought you would like to know that the above word made not a jot of difference to my page hits in the trampoline article. I am now putting it in the title to see what happens.
Barker vs Mugabe
Whiz and I settled down one evening a few weeks ago to watch the two Ronnies who have recently returned to our screens. We were a little disappointed in the show and both remarked at how old Ronnie Barker looked and seemed. It was a little sad to see the energetic Fletch. looking so gaunt. […]