Sexual press ups
When Mavis was about 4 she had a beloved friend, Peter. The two were inseparable, so much so that when they both went to school, the dinner ladies called them the little married couple. Sadly for Mavis, Peter moved away leaving her distraught. For years afterwards she struggled to make friends, but it seemed that the girl groups […]
The Demon Drink
Whizz is not much of a drinker. He will have the occasional beer, and drink wine at a dinner party or meal out but in the main he is, for me, a very valuable chauffeur. ‘Twas not always thus, though. When he was much younger, learning moderation skills, he went to a party and began […]
Now that’s what I call ‘customer service’
Some time ago, during my Friday evening fest of wine drinking and communing with Facebook, I reached a particularly engaged moment and knocked over my glass of wine. Oh no I thought as the glass evaded my grasp, there goes a whole glass of wine. What a waste. Then I saw the direction the wine was arcing. […]
Bed, Breakfast and Fine Dining
This has been an interesting summer. I have enjoyed it more than usual because a) I didn’t have a broken metatarsal and b) somewhat strangely, because we didn’t go away. The reason for our lack of exotic (or otherwise) holiday, was two fold: First, we couldn’t afford it. Things are finally looking up for us financially, […]
Wonder bra
When I was a teen, so absorbent, My friend and I would share our coins, To buy a magazine. We’d huddle on a bench – slatted, Or on a bank, with Mars wrappers – scattered, Cool pages across our knees, Glossy, exciting, promising Lives we would never live. Perfect bodies and laughing faces, Set in […]
The Incident of the Courgette
Funny things happen in life, and I am always keen to see the humour. This can be a bit unfortunate on occasion, but now that I write, I can at least have an unstifled giggle with hindsight. I once had a proper job, a career as a computer programmer and project leader. Despite a requirement […]
Walking the Dog in the Chalk Meadow
These daisies, Ox eyed, Damask and canary, Brushing my legs, They dance in soft air in their thousands, with devout faces that watch the sun wherever it hangs. Ecstatic worshipers, giving more attention than my small students. I dawdle through humming heat, searching for brave orchids among the tender vetch and yolk-ish buttercups. Butterflies: small, […]
On Gardening
When we moved into our house, the garden, like everywhere else, was in dire need of a makeover. The inside was our priority as it needed new floors, heating, plaster and so on, and to make matters more complicated, the week before we started working on it, Whizz was made redundant.
Dogs and Cats
Although we have always loved her, Gizmo, our small, black cat had a traumatic life coming as she did from a single parent home. She arrived in our lives when Horace turned seven, a guilt present because I had split up with Horace’s dad. We already owned/were owned by, Ben, a brown tabby with a […]
Slip Slidin’ Away
Apparently I’m ranting too much and need to retrieve my sense of humour, so here is my nod at levity. One reason for my grumpiness could be an impending, significant birthday. Well, it’s not so much the birthday as the physical defects that accompany it. My back aches when I garden, my hips give me […]