Conkers, Clonkers, Prickly gonads in frilly leaf underwear, Waiting to drop. Suspended reminders, That these balmy, aimless, dreaming days, Face warmed, Bird song, Will die, Cold. Ah but then, New world, Crisp, Crispy, Icy. Walking, Puffing clouds, Swishing feet, Clonk, Brown, glossy, peeping, Conkers
Boy to male Teaching Assistant, peering at the badge describing his name and position “Does that say Teaching Assassin?”
Child 1 “I like your top miss” Miss (rather flattered) “Thank you, I like it too, it has pretty flowers doesn’t it?” Child 2 “I like your trousers” Miss (feeling really trendy) “Thank you” Child 3 “I like your shoes Miss” Miss (Now on top of the world) “Wow, thanks, I must be the best […]
Me “What did you do at school today?” Mavis “Can’t arember” Me “Did you do any reading” Mavis “No” Me “How about numbers” Mavis “No” Me “Well you must have done something” Mavis, after a pause “We did shapes” Me “Oh, what kind of shapes” Mavis “A ball shape” Me “Can you remeber what a […]
I now have a new job. I no longer have a career. My job involves primary school children and is very entertaining. I can’t give any details about my job as it wouldn’t be appropriate however I see no reason why I should not regale you with a few amusing episodes as they crop up.
Several years ago, between husbands, I dipped a toe into the world of computer dating. This seemingly unbalanced move was initiated after a rather unsettling experience with a Lonely Heart from the local news paper. Have you ever rung one up, out of curiosity? Most of the men sound really ordinary but this chap sounded […]