The Girthmother gives in to the Diet

Dear friends, sadly I must relate that I have been to Waitrose. Not for a major shop you understand, just to get some low fat things I can’t get anywhere else, namely, cottage cheese, 0% fat greek yoghurt and Quark. I kept my eyes straight ahead and bought nothing else. What else could I do? Whizz found a recipe for cottage cheese but I think that’s going a bit far, don’t you? I mean you have to be sensible.

On the plus side my butcher has made me fat free, 100% meat, sausages that work out at about the same price as Tesco’s organic sausages. I had to buy 21lbs of them mind you which was a bit of a shock to the bank balance. They are now wrapped into clumps of 6 or 7 in the freezer. Oh it’s lovely to have sausages again.

The cooking has relaxed a bit. I am due to make another batch of lemon squash but need to buy some more Xylobrit. This stuff is a great find as it tastes just like sugar, has half the calories and, if the blurb is to be believed, is good for you!

The last batch of flapjacks were not a success. I tried grating the chocolate onto the top and popping them back into the oven. This was an unmitigated disaster and they’re still in the tin! The last lot of rice crispy cakes were similarly unsuccessful as I added walnuts and nobody, including myself, liked the taste. I’ve been eating Slimming World Hi Fi bars which have hit the sugar spot when needed. More expensive but a darn sight more convenient!

One thing that has tried to undermine my good intentions has been the existence in our house of the Youth Club tuck shop. I was the Treasurer of the Youth Club, then I resigned because we were planning to move. Nobody else could be found to take my place so I am the Treasurer again, and I am also responsible for the tuck – buying it, pricing it, counting it and storing it. It’s the storing bit we could all do without. it’s so easy to put 40p in the tin and buy yourself a Snickers bar, well it is for Whizz; I have a bit more self restraint. Horace is only allowed sweets at the weekend but that doesn’t stop her from asking for a Mars Bar – every day. The problem is that there is nowhere in our house to store two grocery boxes, three sweet boxes and two large plastic storage containers the size of grocery boxes. They are in the lounge behind the settee like sirens, drawing us to them with their sweet tune.

As I said in my last blog entry, I have returned to Slimming World. For those of you unfamiliar with the eating plan I have a choice each day of a Red or a Green plan. Simply put, with Red I can eat as much meat, lean of course, fruit and vegetable as I like with limited amounts of starchy foods such as potato or pasta. On a green day the meat and the starchy foods are reversed. The red days are much better for my digestion – green induces, as you can imagine, a certain amount of gas, but I find that green is much more enjoyable so I tend to live with the wind – or at least my family does!

I have upped my exercise routine. This week I have walked many miles, most enjoyably with one or other friend. One particular friend was out with me today and as we tramped through the woods we discussed life and food. My friend, The-rapist, suffers from diverticulitis so her flatulence problems put mine in the shade. The-rapist has been divorced for quite some time (nothing to do with the wind) and is thinking of having a go at the Dating Game (see my blog On Computer Dating August, 2005), after a discussion of the pros and cons of having a man about the house I observed, about computer dating, that it is a bit like house hunting in that the target looks fantastic on paper, or on line but when you finally go and see it there’s a gas works right behind it. A bit like you, I concluded in mirth.

I think she is still my friend.

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